Just the Facts:
Weeks pregnant: 13 weeks, 1 day
Gain: -4 overall
Size of the baby: Almost 3 inches. Like a peach.
Weight: Almost an ounce.
Other pregnancy related crap:
Emotional crap: This pregnancy is so different from my first one, emotionally. I remember thinking and saying a lot of “I don’t feel magical. I feel sick and tired and there is a parasite inside me taking over my entire body.” with Anneliese. And I don’t mean that in a bitter or unhappy way… the whole thing was just so foreign and did NOT feel “magical” in the least. I knew she was a real baby, a real person, and I was excited to have a child, but I wasn’t loving the pregnant part.
This time, maybe because I’ve been there and done that, and maybe because we told people so much sooner (4 weeks versus 11.5 weeks) so people have been excited WITH me… I feel really lovely about this pregnancy. I still have felt like crap, don’t get me wrong, but at this stage I feel a lot more connected to this baby than I did to Anneliese at the same point. When this baby wiggles and I can feel it fluttering around (still rare, but happening more), it’s 100% exciting, not even 5% “freaking weird.”
Physical crap: Still tired. But now and then I get little bursts and get things done… which is good. I don’t ALWAYS feel like going to sleep as soon as Anneliese is down for a nap. Hopefully this will continue.
What I want to devour: This is weird. I have never once wanted pasta since June 09 (switch to primal) but someone posted a picture of macaroni and cheese, and it made me nostalgic for boxed mac and cheese with ketchup on top, the way I liked it when I was a kid. So I bought some. I ate it. I’m over it. Glad I got it out of my system so I don’t have to think about it anymore. My stomach feels like a brick. I really want cheddar jalapeno cornbread. And last night I made an amazing BLT salad with organic farm tomatoes, tons of bacon, iceberg lettuce (only lettuce for a BLT to me), peas, and homemade Ranch. I can’t stop thinking about it. I want more. Good thing I have more ingredients (now that I’ve been to the store) but I’m almost out of good tomatoes, so I can only have one more… until I find more tomatoes. Kiwis. Salami.
What makes me want to hurl: Bread (not cornbread right now), cereal, pasta (including mac and cheese again), chicken (bought rotisserie chicken for Anneliese, took a bite because it smelled so good, gagged a LOT), this protein powder I won on a facebook page… I tried it and it’s so gross, leftover anything, and melons.
Supplements: Prenatal vitamin, calcium that has a little bit of Vitamin D in it. Vitamin D3, Fish Oil.
Activity/Training: We went out. We took a walk. With pickles. This is better than nothing. I was actually feeling energetic AND it wasn’t 100 degrees! It was 63. But by the time I got us ready, it was 75. And by the time we finished, it was 76 but felt like 90.
Boy/Girl? Boy feelings. Girl dreams. I meant to buy red cabbage at the store today but I forgot. I thought it would be fun to do some of those “wives tales” gender predictors and see which ones were right and which ones were wrong (or which got lucky with the coin flip). So here’s one that doesn’t require any materials…
According to the Chinese Birth Chart I’m having a girl. Apparently every 27 year old woman who conceived a baby in June is also going to have a baby girl. Totally convincing.
Waiting for Hypnobirthing to come in the mail. Joni is also going to share her Hypnobabies with me. Borrowed Birthing From Within from my doula. I’m beginning to wonder if my long prodromal labor and LONG labor (and pushing for so long) was partly due to Anneliese’s positioning. Well I don’t really wonder… I am pretty sure, in my mind… I think by getting more in touch with my body and this baby I may be able to prevent the same things from happening (and hopefully prevent back labor too). Another book I intend to buy and read is Back Labor No More. And I’d like to talk to a chiropractor about all of this too, and make sure to have regular appointments especially toward the end of my pregnancy.
I’ve clearly demonstrated that I can handle the pain of childbirth… but I don’t believe it has to be as painful as it was for me. Back labor is just a whole other ballgame. I felt SOME contractions in my front/uterus where you’re supposed to feel them… and I can completely understand people who “ride the wave” or “let them wash over you” or “become a ball of light” or whatever. All of this makes sense to me when I think about real contractions. All of it goes out the window with hours upon hours (and really weeks) of back contractions. I want this birth to be different. So I’m figuring out how to help.
Baby prep: Just trying to envision where the baby is going to “go.” Which sounds funny… for the first several months I’m sure we’ll use the cosleeper by our bed for the baby to sleep in. But the baby is going to have clothes and diapers and things too. I need to figure out how to rearrange Anneliese’s things so there is space in her dresser, or maybe find a dresser that will work in my bedroom for the baby’s little items. Most of it will overlap with Anneliese’s stuff I’m sure, but there will be other things also. I do want to get a floor bed for this baby too, so he (or she) can take some naps on it or whatever. I’m not sure if that will go in Anneliese’s room or in our room… neither room has much space to spare. But I’ll figure it out.
Tandem nursing / BOOBS:
Last week I mentioned that Anneliese was nursing for just a minute or two before going to sleep. This week? With teething and trying to learn to walk, she is nursing a LOT more. Before naps and before bed, she nurses for a long time on both sides, and then is almost impossible to latch without her crying and trying to re-attach herself. Thankfully she has become very good at settling herself, so when I KNOW she is sleepy and I KNOW she is finished nursing, I can put her on her bed, kiss her and tell her I love her, and leave the room. Even if she is WAILING and waving her arms around when I leave, within a minute or so, she lies down quietly and closes her eyes.
Anneliese still asks for water very often during the morning nursing session, so I have to make sure to have a cup of water beside my bed for her. Lots of nursing this week overall. Lots of cuddles. No boob soreness.
Sometimes I look pregnant. It’s cool.