I know that people mean well with these comments…
- I don't know how you do it all! It must be so hard to be a single mom of two young kids.
- Wow, I bet you really miss your husband. Being a single mom is so tough!
- You do such a good job with your kids, even while you're a single mom.
Let me just get this straight. I'm not a single mom.
I think single moms who take good care of their kids are amazing, strong people. I could not imagine going to work every day, putting my kids in daycare, coming home exhausted and still managing to make dinner and connect with each child before bath and bedtime. Every. Single. Day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing single moms.
I'm just not one of them.
I am married. I have a husband. He's deployed, yes. We don't see him for months on end, and then we get little skype chats while he's in port. It's hard. But I am not single.
I'm just flying solo for a while.
I know this won't last forever. There's an end in sight, and he'll be back home with us, cooking family breakfasts on Saturdays, helping put the kids to bed, running errands with us, and reading books with kids piled on top of him.
Every day, I send him emails with photos or a cute story about something one of the kids did. I update him on what I'm doing with the house and the blog. I tell him about things I do with friends.
And he writes back that he's so excited to hear Joey has another tooth, or that Anneliese is talking so much, or that I'm having fun decluttering, or that we had lunch with some friends. And then he tells me about what he's doing on the ship (observing OPSEC of course), how he misses us, and that he's looking forward to the next time we can talk/skype/hug.
If I'm “stuck” with something, I can ask him for help, and he does the best he can over email. If I accomplished something great, I can share and he'll give me a virtual high five. If I have a crappy day, he'll give me an e-hug.
So while it's okay to feel sad for me now and then because my husband is away (I feel sad sometimes, but not a 24/7 pity party), please don't call me a single mom.
My co-pilot is coming back home.